The theme of this post will no doubt crop up again in my writing but it’s a message I feel needs to be relayed, so to start my first proper substack post I’m going to talk about why showing genuine care is absolutely paramount to the integrity of a coach. Like many others in my line of work, I feel that the way health and fitness is offered up to us has become extremely contrived.
The fitness industry is a wild, uncontrollable beast but even before social media it was still like the wild west in terms of regulation. Such little regulation has its benefits but the dark side of this means the door is always wide open for our insecurities to be monetised.
What does this actually mean though? If we zoom out and take a look at why people struggle with their health, it becomes quite clear we are constantly fed narratives of what we should do, what we should look like and that all we have to do is cough up some money to achieve it. There’s an almost authoritative nature to it all too - following orders gets you results, thinking for youself doesn’t.
A friend of mine recently said “we’re constantly having our fears packaged up and sold back to us disguised as our desires when it comes to our health and fitness.”
I couldn’t agree more. Too many people are having their insecurities preyed upon by powerful, profit hungry marketing systems that ultimately don’t care about their wellbeing. The result means an insane amount of money gets spent year on year on products and services that hinder rather than help. This fear based marketing is designed to keep us hooked, waiting with baited breath and dependent on these companies for the next silver bullet. The more people it sweeps up in its system, the more powerful it grows.
Maybe I’ll die on this hill, shouting this message of anti-depency, trying to help people find peace with their health & fitness, but it’s a hill worthy of dying on. However if Iprevent even just a handful of people from ending up spending the rest of their life in a tailspin with all this I’ll be happy.
It doesn’t help that the government has by and large shirked all responsibility too. So much so in fact that just like climate change, we’re made to feel like it’s up to us to do the heavy lifting (metaphorically speaking that is!).
Whilst there are some genuinely good government guidelines on health and fitness, there just isn’t enough of it and a lot is either outdated or vague. For example government guidelines still recommend us to “Eat 2000/2500kcal/day on average if you’re a woman/man respectively.” Why are we still being told to count calories when it’s proven so many food labels are up to 20% inaccurate? To further pull this guideline apart, counting calories makes us more reliant on technology which plays into the fitness industry’s hands (think myfitness pal, noom etc) rather than helping us get in touch with our own internal cues (hunger, satiety, thirst etc). It reinforces dependency over autonomy and literally throws you into the arms of those that want your money.
You’re being let down. Big time.
The truth is these days, if you don’t fit in with the fitness industry’s current picture of health and fitness, you’re essentially on your own to figure it out. This is why if you have any influence on people's health you have got to act in their best interests. It’s your responsibility.
I’m going to relay a story now about an interaction I had the other day which inspired me to write this article.
I got talking to someone the other day at the gym I currently work out of in Manchester. The lady in question wanted my advice on health & fitness and how she could get rid of her knee pain. The more the conversation went on, the more she opened up about how long she’d been living with pain, how it was now affecting her back and how poor the help she’d received so far was.
What I heard was the tale of a woman who had been thoroughly and utterly let down. She’d been judged by everyone for how she appeared. She’d been to countless different professionals from both the private and public sector over the last few years (doctors, physio’s, gym instructors, PT’s etc), and pretty much all of them said the same thing, “You need to lose weight, here’s some exercises to do and some pain medication to take. Cya later.”
Not a single one of them had asked her how she felt. She’d been looked at in a very cold, mechanical sense and given orders to follow.
No urge to dig deeper and no inclination to listen to what was really going on in her life.
If we’re in a situation where someone needs help we’d do well to replace judgement with kindness and curiosity. Sometimes those who are asked to provide help are so quick to dish out prescriptions they miss the fact that there is a person in front of them. A person with their own unique struggles, personality traits and biases. Throwing prescriptions straight away at those that ask for help before they’ve been given a chance to open up is straight up lazy. The lady I spoke to could smell the lack of care a mile off. No wonder she felt so let down and rejected.
Poor interactions with health & fitness and medical professionals compound over time and plays a huge part in why people begin to lose hope that they can be helped. In the case of the lady I was speaking to, it led to her feeling completely isolated and when this happens the only place left to turn to is the highly unpredictable clutches of the fitness industry. Weight watchers, slimming world, weightloss challenge groups, fad diets - she felt like those things were her only options, either that or a life of medication.
We’ve got to do better as professionals, by listening and being empathic. People aren’t going to accept our help, show their vulnerable side and follow our advice if we can’t demonstrate an honest, caring attitude. A simple judgement-free conversation can make all the difference to someone’s life. It can draw them closer to making real, meaningful changes that align with them. The lady I spoke to went on to say our 5 minute chat had done more for her than any of the previous professionals she’d spoken to in the last 3 years.
5mins of listening and showing genuine interest.
No selling,
No agenda,
No talking just to make myself look smart.
That’s the upside to all this, it doesn’t take much to swing things around. I’m not claiming to be some kind of all healing, lyrical messiah but one conversation can undo so much confusion, give someone real direction and bring them some much needed hope.
I’ve no doubt the fitness industry has helped thousands upon thousands but it’s only the success stories we hear about. We rarely hear from the likes of the lady I spoke to in this story and believe me there are 100 of her to every 1 social media success story we see.
As evidence for this claim, I only have to point to the fact that life expectancy is now actually going down in this country! Social media really does paint a biassed picture of what’s going on. Don’t get me wrong we need to see success stories, they’re inspiring! But we need to look at the reality of things too. In order to change the landscape and stop people falling through the net we need to do better and that starts by connecting with folk properly.
Listen more, judge less. Curiosity and kindness over prescription and instruction.
Thanks for reading
Will
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